Living Rock Shipping, Ltd
by kevincong
Summary: The trolls are pleased with their invention of the Kristanna pairing. I may add more chapters in which the characters attempt to answer people's relationship questions later, so if you PM me I can write one for you! To protect privacy I will not credit the chapter to you. Rated M, to be safe, for occasional sex barbs.
1. Chapter 1: Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

Scene: Elsa finds Kristoff and Bulda outside her study.

Kristoff: Sorry for arriving on short notice, your majesty. I understand that this may not be my place to do so, but could I ask you a few questions about your sister?

Elsa: Don't worry about it, Kristoff. Just call me Elsa. Actually, I was thinking about talking to the trolls about something as well, probably some background information on Hans.

Kristoff:…Hans? Wait, what?

Elsa: You know, the guy who Anna thought was her true love before I learned he left her to die?

Kristoff: I know who Hans is, thank you very much. It's just that I wanted to talk to you about him as well. I actually have my adoptive mother with me today. Can you believe she actually tried to-

Bulda: Dear, when will you stop talking about it that way? It was the right thing to do all along, don't you see your window of opportunity closing?

Elsa: Hold on, what's the meaning of this?

Bulda: I told him that "nice guys finish last" and he didn't know what that meant at all!

Kristoff: How should I know you were talking about me or someone else?

Bulda: Of course you wouldn't, considering that you didn't know what I was referring to by "nice guy"!

Elsa: Hold on, I'm confused. Are you telling me, Bulda, that there is more than one way someone can be considered a "nice guy"?

Bulda: Yes, your majesty. Let's take this from the beginning, shall we? Can you tell me what you can about your sister's love preferences?

Elsa: Well, last night I had a long talk with her about Hans over a mug of hot chocolate, and it appears that even though she admitted to going after him only because she was "in love with the prospect of being in love", she still has feelings for him.

Kristoff (blushing, sweating, and whispering to himself): conceal…don't…feel… conceal…don't…

Elsa: Hey, I heard that!

Bulda: No, son, that is not how you're supposed to go about it. Just pay attention. After analyzing all the video clips (hint: the movie itself) I have determined that the reason Anna found Hans appealing was that he approached her with confidence and swagger, and was certainly physically qualified.

Kristoff: But so am I!

Bulda: That's not the point. If you had known all this time what Anna was feeling for Hans, even though it's ambivalent right now, you would've continued to convince yourself that them two were still engaged, and therefore refuse to take action. Instead, you're probably expecting to be able to telepathically pressure Anna to dump Hans for you to avoid expressing your feelings directly.

(plays video clip of Kristoff and Sven leaving Arendelle, then turns up volume suddenly)

Kristoff in video: No, Sven! We're not going back. She's with her true love.

(Sven: You may fool me all you want, bro, but you ain't gonna fool yourself!)

Bulda (continuing): This is something most women dislike about nice guys—that they think too much and act too little because they are afraid to mess something up.

Elsa: That would be even more so with my sister, considering her propensity for adventure.

Kristoff: OK, but what about all the chocolate and flowers I bought her with my own salary? And how I gave up my sled to get her to you, and brought her back here when she was freezing to death? Hans left her to die and I was ready to blast him to a pulp, how does that not give me the edge?

Elsa: Because she can be very needy at times-

Bulda: -and would have expected any man to do all that. If those are the only things you focus on when you think about your relationship with her, the door is open for her to use you as a tool when she feels frustrated with her purported Prince Charming.

Elsa: Plus, you don't want to come across as too predictable and obtainable. I understand how she's restored your faith in humanity, but she doesn't want someone to come easy because of the effect she's had on him-that conveys a sense of personal insecurity. In fact, I've even found a crayon drawing she made of her "ideal prince" shortly before our parents passed.

Kristoff: Could I see it? (Elsa gives Kristoff the drawing) (After scanning for a minute) OK, so why does she still go back to that jerk?

(Bulda face palms, plays "Love is an Open Door" clip)

Elsa: You see that? That's why Anna is still attached to Hans. Sure, she's upset about how he manipulated her, but I can't comprehend how those few moments—especially this "finishing each other's sandwiches" business—are enough to make her forgive him.

Kristoff: Well, maybe Feisty Pants thinks she can change him.

Bulda: Good thinking Kristoff! That's important, because I don't see it happening at all. You see, she wants not only all those "nice" qualities (holding up drawing) but also the adventure and craziness that comes with someone with…bigger feet, so to speak.

Elsa: The problem is that my sister is still young enough and naive enough to be unable to tell when she's being manipulated. But that's not something for you to be concerned about, Kristoff. If I suspect anything fishy with Hans I will certainly talk to her.

Bulda: And the next time you see Anna, just be yourself, don't go out of your way to do anything. But all those thoughts about what you've already done for her and what you think Hans can't do, you have to get those out of your head and start with a clean slate. For starters, if you want to ask her out on another date, don't disguise it as "hanging out after work" or anything else. Talk to me again when you've tried it, and good luck!

Elsa: To make a long story short, I know Anna told you that foot size doesn't matter, but we all know it does…just not in the way you think.

Kristoff: Alright, I'm late for my next harvest, thank you for the help, hope to talk to you again soon!


	2. Chapter 2: Why do Guys Cheat on Me?

2 weeks later…

At approximately 10 pm, Anna suddenly rips open the door to Elsa's study crying her eyes out.

Elsa: Anna? Are you OK? Come on, let it go…

(Anna stops temporarily, but then buries her face in Elsa's chest and continues sobbing and screaming incoherently for at least 5 minutes, while Elsa can only hold her sister tight and run her fingers through the strawberry blonde hair. But finally...)

Anna: Hans…you…you won't…believe it…

Elsa: What happened? We're not keeping anymore secrets from each other, I can assure you.

Anna: Bar...drunk...makeout...ugly...overweight...

Elsa: Pardon? If you can't tell me everything now it's OK, let's have some hot chocolate and we'll build lots of snowmen and it'll be the best slumber party you've ever had, sounds good?

Anna: Thanks Elsa...(sniff)...you always know what to do.

(The next day)

Elsa: So, I asked Kai to cancel all the meetings today. I'm glad you asked me about whatever might be eating you sooner or later, I'm guessing it sounds pretty serious.

Anna: Yes...as I was saying, yesterday I found Hans in a bar making out with some random belly dancer, if that's what she's cut out to be. That place was filled with overweight unkempt sk(bleep)ks and he was saying DTF a lot and he couldn't recognize me at all!

Elsa: OK, judging by your reaction last night, I think you had no idea this was coming, do you?

Anna: Well...I heard that the trolls actually came here some time ago, right?

Elsa: Yes, it was two weeks. Kristoff was here as well, but I think you can figure out for yourself what he wanted.

Anna: Hmm...two weeks...OK, what happened was that Hans came back very late one night, and I asked him what he was up to. He wouldn't tell me anything except for the fact that he wouldn't do it again. Then we went on this awesome picnic the day after that and he was the sweetest he had ever been!

Elsa: Well, what were you doing when you found him last night?

Anna: I was supposed to meet him at eight for a date...he still hadn't showed up by 8:30. That's when I started searching for him.

(A light flurry suddenly begins to fall in the room.)

Elsa: You know Anna, I bet I know what you're going to ask me next.

Anna: Do you really think so?

Elsa: Yes-"why do some guys cheat on beautiful women with ugly ones?"

Anna: Why do you think that?

Elsa: Because, I think you've got a real bad apple on your hands. I actually brought this up to Kristoff and Bulda the other day, and I waited until now to tell you this because I didn't think you would believe it. Now is the perfect time to do this. So, do you remember when he told you he had 12 older brothers?

Anna: Yes, it sounded like a fun fact at the time.

Elsa: And it also helped explain why he used you to get into the throne. Now, I have video footage of many of the events that occurred when I set off the eternal winter. Do you recall this particular line?

Hans (in video clip): Oh Anna, if only there was someone out there who loved you.

Elsa: There's a reason I'm going to focus on that line in particular. He certainly knows exactly who you are: outgoing, hardworking, kindhearted, pretty, intelligent, optimistic, and so much more. Compared to me, at least, that's plenty of girlfriend material. But why do you think he wanted the throne?

Anna: Um...12 brothers...3 pretended he was invisible...I think I get it. He wants attention?

Elsa: Good job! Yes, it's very likely that his brothers picked on him a lot. And when he talks about those who pretended he was invisible, I'm thinking he's only showing you the tip of the iceberg.

Anna: Wait, what?

Elsa: He's probably dealt with a lot worse from the other 9 of them. He'd have said that line because someone else repeated it to him when he was younger. I know of the Southern Isles dynamics well, and I don't like what I see. It's nothing but a never ending politics-fueled power struggle. Of course being the 13th in line is going to make anyone wish they were just a peasant sometimes. Anna, his character is based on a litany of male stereotypes he was subject to since he was born. His head has been filled with insecurities because nobody showed him compassion or empathy or love. What you and I have, he can only dream of.

Anna: And your point being?

Elsa: The only way to get those voices out of his head is seizing power and control. He wants to prove that he is a man, but doesn't know what being a man is all about. I won't go into the details, because I'm sure you would know already, plus some of it is not appropriate jargon for royalty, even though our audience may be 21st-century college students.

Anna: That doesn't answer the question of why he would cheat on me with some tramp he finds at a bar rather than with another duchess.

Elsa: Anna, that's not the issue anymore. The issue is that he has the nerve to do this to you. Here's where the difference between a girl and a woman comes in. Now, Kristoff brought up another point I consider important. Have you ever thought you could change Hans back into the man you met at my coronation?

Anna: Once or twice.

Elsa: Alright, I have news for you. You can't do it. He doesn't want to change. As in, he is still starved for attention and control. He is not ready to become the prince you've been dreaming of. When he tried to convince you I was nothing but a wicked sorceress, he did so to get you to cling to him. He was trying to manipulate you, and almost certainly still is. However, any self-respecting royal family wouldn't send their daughters to him because they can all see through his ways. You and I, we might not have been able to, but we're young and we have time to learn.

Anna: Could you explain that in more detail?

Elsa: The reaction he is expecting from the woman he is cheating on-in this case, you-is insecurity. He wants you to ask yourself how are you not catering to his every desire, and he doesn't mind pitting you against someone whom you would never look up to under normal circumstances. When you cling to him, that's when he feels the most fulfilled. The more women that are willing to put him on a pedestal, the better for him.

Anna: Oh my god...that good-for-nothing, frozen-hearted devil! What can I do now?

Elsa: Aside from the obvious, which is to never speak to him again, it's time to establish yourself as more than just a young girl desperate for love. You are nobody's consolation prize. If a man really loved you, he will give you no less than his 120%. You will be his strength and motivation to become a better man when he doesn't think he can do it. That is my definition of loyalty-not putting up with his however questionable antics. This is clearly not your fault, and I don't want you getting tricked into thinking it is. (pulls Anna into a hug) Anna, I'm so glad we caught this sooner rather than later. You are no longer my baby sister anymore and you are growing up more and more every single day and you don't realize how lucky we are to have you-not just me and the castle staff, but every single one of us in Arendelle. Don't ever let someone treat you like just my spare. Don't ever let someone disrespect and objectify you, because you are worth so much more than that.

Anna: Thanks Elsa...thank you so much...you have no idea how much it means to me...to understand who I really can be. With you by my side I know we will grow up to be women any man would feel lucky to have...and I think I know which man it would be for me...

(Meanwhile, at the Valley of Living Rock)

Pabbie: Kristoff, there is blood in the water. We told you to be ready for this, didn't we?


	3. Chapter 3: My Crush Broke up with Her BF

**Author's note: The quote below is used in honor of the US Men's National Team advancing to the knockout stage against Belgium. The author is aware that the quote may carry some controversial connotations and wishes to make clear that the contents of this story are not intended to promote misogyny or any other form of male entitlement. They are based purely on the personalities of characters from Frozen and how they interact. **

Kristoff: Blood in the water? What do you mean?

Younger troll who said that Kristoff tinkled in the woods: Check the bulletin board!

("So she's engaged to someone else? Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score." –Jillian Dodd, _That Wedding_)

Kristoff: If this has anything to do with the "get rid of the fiancée" stuff, I'm not buying it. I don't think it really works.

Bulda: Well, we won't have to get rid of the fiancée ourselves now. Rumor has it that Anna and Hans are breaking up for real this time.

Kristoff: Oh, really? I didn't think they were going to last.

Pabbie: Yep. This means that you are probably next in line. We've had that quote cutout for a while, but picked this morning to post it because being a troll is a very busy career as well.

Kristoff: Great! Should I go to see her today? I mean, I want to, but something tells me this isn't a good idea.

Bulda: Good thinking son! I knew you had some sense in you. On average, girls take longer than guys to recover from a failed relationship. My research indicates that it doesn't really matter how badly the previous relationship went. But she needs space. She needs time to figure out what she really wants in a relationship.

Pabbie: That's right. She probably doesn't need you right now as much as she needs Elsa.

Bulda: And that's a major reason why going after her right away can be a terrible mistake. Even if you are able to convince her that a relationship will make her a lot happier, you've put yourself at a disadvantage by setting up the doormat position for her. This way, she may merely look upon you as a rebound date—someone purely to make her feel confident enough to try another relationship.

Pabbie: And there's always the risk that she will think you're trying to jump on her when she is the most vulnerable, so that you can be the hero. This only works in books and movies and will certainly not help you get under her dress, although we won't ask if that is indeed what you ultimately want to do.

Bulda: Also, considering how the last relationship went, another thing you would not want to do is push a new one too quickly. Whether you two are meant to be, it won't be terribly difficult to find out—

Pabbie: —although there is a limited role we can play in whether that actually happens or not.

Kristoff: Is she still going to feel awkward thinking about me?

Bulda: That's an easy fixer upper. 7-10 days will likely turn her back into her bouncy clumsy self, and that's the best time to talk to her, in case you might have any more competition. Just do what you would normally have done with her before the breakup. You are already good friends, so it'll be easy to resume your relationship from where it was before.

Pabbie: A common pitfall is if she wants to vent to you about Hans. Don't rationalize with her by telling her Hans was a bad choice all along. If you insinuate that you're a better choice for her than Hans, it could still push her away. All you need to do is listen and agree even though it might not make any sense to you.

Bulda: A Platonic relationship might be good for you in the early going, but you're still going to have to tell her how you really feel one day. Only buying her gifts and functioning as her therapist is an easy trap that will confine you to the friendzone (and we don't really see you as a full-time therapist anyways).

Pabbie: Just act natural. Pretend the breakup never happened. Pretend that you guys never met Hans. If you bring him up you can still trigger some unpleasant memories. That's pretty much all we can tell you until you guys get together again.

Bulda: In short, the goalie's out of position and doesn't know where the ball is at all. The net may be empty, but you've still got to shoot!

(5 days later, at castle…)

Elsa: Anna? Please, I know you're in there. People are asking where you've been. They say he wasn't right for you, it's a brand new slate, please let me in. We'll always have each other, it's just you and me, and plenty of fish in the sea…do you want to build a snowman?

(lock clicks and door opens a crack. It is very hard for Elsa to ignore that Anna has not yet gotten out of bed and her eyes are bloodshot from crying.)

Elsa: Anna? Are you OK? Do you want to talk? Do you want me to do your hair?

Anna: Yes…I'm…I can't believe…I still thought he was the one…how could it have taken…so long…what is wrong with me, Elsa?

Elsa: Well, I understand that you're upset at waiting for the decision to be made for you, but it's an important decision nonetheless. It's good that you've finally gotten past "Love is an Open Door" because I know it was the one reminder that you could bring out the best in everyone, even if they were nothing but your stereotypical d-bag. In fact, I received a letter from the Southern Isles yesterday. Hans has been stripped of his title and inheritance and sentenced to 15 years of hard labor. It's unlikely that we will ever hear from him again.

Anna: Oh great! That scumbag certainly got what he deserved. But Elsa, sometimes I wonder whether I should be in a relationship at all. I now realize what it meant when I said that I went after Hans because I was in love with the idea of being in love.

Elsa: Well, whether you want to be in a relationship or not is totally your decision. But why you want to, it is another question. You're still very young and you have a lot of time to think this through, but it's certainly possible that you already have.

Kai: Sorry to disturb you, your majesty, but we have received a letter.

Elsa: Oh, OK, thanks Kai. Which kingdom is it from, by any chance?

Kai: I'm not sure which kingdom.

Elsa: No problem, we'll take a look. Thank you!

Kai: Good day, your majesty. (exits)

Anna: You know, I think that may be for me. (opens letter)

_Dear Anna,_

_I understand that you may have been going through a very rough time lately. I have been informed of your recent breakup with Prince Hans and I apologize that things did not work out. Hopefully it was fun while it lasted._

_If you ever need someone to talk to, Sven, the trolls and I will always be here for you. I thought that you might be feeling lonely, so I was thinking that we could meet at the food court I used to stop by after work. Do you remember how excited you used to get when I brought over your favorite chocolates? I am available whenever you are. But if you are not comfortable with that, I fully understand and respect your wishes. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon._

_All the best,_

_Kristoff Bjorgman_

Anna: Elsa, do you think I should do this?


	4. Chapter 4: Begin Again

Elsa: Well, Anna, that is a question that you'll have to answer for yourself. That's why I strongly encourage you to consider what you really want and need in a relationship.

Anna: I'm actually not sure about that right this moment, because I'm that kind of person who can feel when a relationship is right for me in my bones—wait, what did I just say?

Elsa: Haven't you forgotten what happened the first time you tried that?

Anna: No, I haven't! It's just that back then I was naïve and desperate. I honestly thought that Hans was going to be my only chance. I mean, to this day, I'm still kind of uncomfortable with the idea of being alone. But now that I've got you back, I've got nothing but time to let the relationship develop fully.

Elsa: Good to hear! I admire that you are learning so much so quickly about real life after spending all those years reading romance novels. Rule of thumb that I'm hearing is that once you end a relationship, it takes half the length of that relationship to recover from it.

Anna: What? Not me! Who needs that long to get over some self-centered manipulative murderer jerk anyways? Plus, it's not like you've been queen for a while either.

Elsa: Alright, so that aside, the question is, do you want to take another shot at Kristoff?

Anna: Hmm, I'm actually not sure. The fact that he isn't royalty might cause some backlash. Plus, his family is admittedly kind of weird. I'm still a little creeped out by the fact that they'd ship me with him so aggressively. Then there's the thing about picking his nose and sharing carrots with Sven and—

Elsa: Well, I understand that it may feel a little weird at first. But fortunately for you here is that you two actually know each other for a bit and are simply trying to strengthen what is already a friendship.

Anna: Yeah, and we haven't really been "just friends" long enough that trying to get beyond that would be too awkward.

Elsa: So, if you're sure that you want to do this, you should certainly accept Kristoff's invitation. You saw that he wasn't kidding when he told you the trolls were "love experts", so their ship probably did not come out of thin air. As for personal hygiene, I would strongly take it with a grain of salt for now. If you two really loved each other you'd eventually find a way to work around it.

Anna: Thanks Elsa! You're my favorite sister ever! (crushes her with bear hug) I will send Kristoff my reply right now!

Elsa (muffled): Can't…breathe…only…sister…

Anna: Oh, yeah, right. (lets go)

(3 days later, at Valley of Living Rock)

Kristoff: Whoa, I can't believe it! She actually said yes!

(A couple dozen of the little trolls immediately jump all over Kristoff trying to hug him)

Bulda: Guys, not all at once! (the little trolls step back, while Bulda gives Kristoff another hug) I'm so proud of you son! I knew you could do it! Isn't it wonderful?

Kristoff: I guess…? Um, yeah, I mean, sure it is!

Bulda: Come on Kristoff, where is the passion? Where is the confidence?

Kristoff: Well…um…you see…I'm not really sure if…she'll…

Bulda: Aaargh, same old story every time. You've got your date with her and now you're afraid you're going to mess it up. What do I have to do to get you to understand that all it takes is to act natural? If you spend the whole evening thinking you're going to blow it, you will. It doesn't happen out of nowhere like you're probably suspecting either. You'll be giving it away through your body language.

Kristoff: Well, to begin with, I'm not really much of a conversationalist—

Pabbie: Doesn't look like it from the fact that you two are already comfortable around each other, and definitely not from the fact that she's taking her time for you. So my recommendation here is to give her more of why she is choosing to stick by you, and hope that what you consider to be turn-offs work themselves out later.

Bulda: Let her do the talking. All you have to do is listen and ask the appropriate questions. Chicks dig curiosity and attentiveness. You have no idea how many self-conceited suitors the queen will have to put up with before she finds one she likes.

Pabbie: Other things to avoid are lengthy silence and asking if she likes you. Keep in mind that neither of you are fully ready for a long-term relationship at this point.

Bulda: Yes, women can smell desperation from a mile away. And one more thing, the little things such as compliments about how she looks, holding the door open for her, and being polite to the waitperson, they go a long way into determining the likelihood of another date. Even these seemingly trivial gestures would be a breath of fresh air for someone who's just broken up with a disowned prince.

Pabbie: But if you can't remember any of this, what you MUST remember is to pay attention to your body language. Speak clearly but softly, sit up straight, and maintain eye contact. This is how you convey a sense of confidence and poise when you don't think your words alone are going to cut it.

Kristoff: Hmm, sounds good. Well, I guess a day of work is never going to pass by so slowly today. See you all!

All the trolls: Good luck!

(That evening at the castle)

Guard: Halt! Who goes there?

Kristoff (with roses and chocolates in hand): Kristoff Bjorgman the Ice Master, sir.

Guard: Proceed.

(Kristoff enters palace and immediately notices Anna sliding down the bannister.)

Anna: Kristoff! (They exchange a passionate hug.) These are so pretty! I have the perfect vase for them in my room. Let me put them away really quickly. (runs back up a few steps, then turns back towards Kristoff) What are you waiting for? Come with me!

(They enter Anna's bedroom.)

Anna: Don't they look marvelous, Kristoff? Oooh, and are these for me too? (pulls out the chocolates while Kristoff gives her the "you don't say?" look) My favorite! How did you know?

Kristoff: Well, this is what I always got you.

Anna: And you always know how to make my day! (another hug) I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful friend like you, did you know that?

Kristoff: No, it's music to my ears that you're telling me. (He has noticed the change in Anna's reaction compared to the other times that he brought her flowers and chocolate) So, it's nearly time for our reservation, the carriage is waiting. Shall we head downstairs?

Anna: Oooh, a carriage! How thoughtful of you! (she was expecting that he would show up with Sven and they travel by sled)

(At the restaurant)

Kristoff: So, I've never seen you in that dress before. Where did you get it?

Anna: Birthday present. It was a little too big at the time, but I really loved this color of velvet and felt bad for the seamstress, so I took it anyways.

Kristoff: I love the way it contrasts with your skin, and it looks even better with that signature hairdo of yours.

Anna: Thank you! Think you're ready to order?

Kristoff: Yes, I believe so.

(after orders are taken)

Anna: Hey, did I ever tell you about the one time I went here with Hans? The waiter got his order wrong and he yelled at him.

Kristoff: Oooh, that must have turned some heads.

Anna: Yeah, I thought he had just had a rough day. But I grew a little more suspicious when we went out to dinner another time and he did it again.

Kristoff: Man, I feel bad for that waiter. I mean, since I'm pretty much a commoner too, so I can understand what it's like when customers find petty excuses to yell at you. Pretty demoralizing to say the least.

(their orders arrive; Anna is eating rather carelessly)

Kristoff: So, how's your pasta? Whoa, you know you have some sauce on your cheek, right?

Anna: Says the guy who's clearly never cut steak with a fork and knife before.

Kristoff: Don't judge me, one or two steak dinners a year would really have been something to look forward to back in the day!

Anna: Exactly! Hey Kristoff, when was the last time you had this much fun eating?

Kristoff: Uhh…I actually have no idea, why?

Anna: I've been forced to attend specialized etiquette class for a while. It's pretty weary, I mean, I like dining with Elsa, but she snaps at me for even minor transgressions such as forgetting which fork to eat salad with. And Hans isn't really much better, I feel like he scrutinizes my table manners as well. Plus, he always orders the most expensive item on the menu. Such nerve!

Kristoff: Pompous, indeed. I wonder who taught him to do that?

Anna: Gotta be one of his brothers, those habits catch up really quickly.

(during dessert)

Anna: So, you could probably tell that I'm not really into this princess stereotype business.

Kristoff: Tell me more!

Anna: You know how other kingdoms like to betroth sons and daughters to each other for political and economic purposes? Thank God we stopped doing that. My parents were the first rulers of Arendelle that were not wed in that manner, and then there's Elsa cutting down my initial engagement with Hans. And if you ask me, it's looking like a pretty good call for us.

Kristoff: Um, as in, are you going to start taking more or suitors, or what?

Anna: Not a given at all. I can certainly envision what going to dinner with some random prince I've never heard of is going to be like. We'd probably be talking about clothes and dancing and inheritances all evening long, and you know that's not my style. With you, it's different. I mean, sure, rumors are going to fly like crazy off the newspaper tabloids for a while, but I've just kinda grown not to care about it. I feel quite natural and relaxed when I'm with you. No need to stoop down to tie my self-worth into just my financial assets. No need to wear tight clothes or use esoteric vocabulary. God knows how many visiting dignitaries joke about my awkwardness and my clumsiness and my freckles and my ability to talk a mile a minute like I'm doing now, but...that's just not you. You don't know how thankful I am for that, Kristoff...that others try to get to know me as a PRINCESS and you...

Kristoff: ...you're just "Anna" to me, princess or no princess.

Anna: Exactly! Hans has pretty much ruined any interest I would have had in going through such a cumbersome and repetitive process with that hypocrisy of his.

Kristoff: Yeah, you know about this quote that our female audience members sometimes use? "If you can't stand the sight of me in a T-shirt and sweatpants with my hair down, you sure as hell don't deserve me in lipstick, mascara, and a fancy ballgown." Something or other.

Anna (chortling as a crumb of chocolate cake comes flying out of her mouth): I know! I know! Oh, Kris...you crack me up, this is too much. I mean, T-shirts? Sweatpants? What are those anyways?

Kristoff: I have a feeling that those aren't things your prototypical prince would say in public. But who cares? Nobody would suspect a thing.

Anna: Go figure! I really don't want this night to end, Kris. Since the Great Thaw, Hans seems to have forgotten how to make a girl laugh.

(10:30 pm, back at castle; Anna has a giant sack full of chocolate and both of them are sore all over from tripping over each other's feet while dancing)

Anna: Kristoff, I can't remember the last time I had so much fun in just one evening. Sometimes I don't really now how I got lucky enough to know a guy like you.

Kristoff: Just being in the right place at the right time, I guess. I've been thinking the same thing all night too. So, same time next week?

Anna: Oh, I would love to! I shall see you then!

Kristoff: Good night, feisty pants! (plants a kiss on her cheek) Don't let the frostbite bite!

**AN: For modern day audiences, don't bash your ex on the first date. This worked quite well with Anna and Kristoff because they know each other to some extent before this date, and they share a mutual dislike for Hans, but not in general.**


End file.
